Monday, 1 August 2016

Midnight Owl

It seems to me that the older I get the less I sleep. On the face of it. this is in the "normal" range for many people.  However, after nine years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding, my internal clock, at least as far as sleep goes, is completely wonky. I used to think I could survive on three hours sleep a night, but that was mostly because, with children, all the household chores, extra-mural activities for the children, farm animals, managing the farm, growing vegetables, baking, running art classes as well as homeschooling three boys of different ages, there were never enough hours in the day. What I mean to say is, when you're busy almost every minute of your waking day, with situations you cannot simply avoid, then your body learns to adapt to "overdrive mode". This becomes normal. Even though it's not, and later you WILL feel the effects of this unnatural rhythm. Body rhythms can be extremely resistant to change!

Now, my children are grown and out of the nest. But...will someone please  let my body know? I still burn the midnight oil more often than not. It's not that I stay up late but rather that I fall asleep early and wake up around midnight. Then between midnight and 3am I am WIDE AWAKE and also full of creative energy. Then, you will find me in my little studio, crocheting or writing in my journal, reading, drawing, sewing, thinking or making colour palettes.

The Crochet Flow

The truth, the BEAUTIFUL truth, about creative energy is that the more you use it, the more you are able to mine it. When you resist your impulses to create the less you will create. It's like waiting for the right moment to do anything you wish for, but feel you can't unless you have  more time, more money, less stress, the perfect space, supportive family, or friends or partner. This is what frightens many Creatives. On the inside, they have dread and regret, sorrow, even debilitating grief. They are convinced that  their "time of creating " is gone, forever, that their creative flow has run bone dry. 

But this is not true. NOT AT ALL. Creative flow is always there. Always. You just need to begin excavating, digging below the surface of your daily life. It will be difficult because digging into a parched and hardened river bed will never be easy. This is where the gentle, flowing Art of Crochet is so very helpful. When the going gets tough , then sit down, fan yourself in the cool shade and look to your immediate life, think about it for awhile and you'll soon realise how much creative energy you put into everyday living. Then pick up your hook and yarn and continue.

When my life settled into a quieter more manageable routine, when I had some moments to reflect, I could take comfort in the realisation that creative energy, so much of it, had always been present in my life. There was no reason at all to feel regret, or grieve over what my creative life "should " have looked like. I'd unconsciously applied creativity, sometimes creative genius even, to every aspect of living and to the lives of others around me, my relationships, my children, my community. My life was, and still is, a complicated, intricate mural! All of our lives are.

I hope wherever you are in the world, that you're in the flow, creating your life like the work of Art it most surely is.

Love, always.


  1. Reading this made me laugh, I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me last night. I was up until 3am.. Thinking I need to go to sleep.. I posted many photos of things in my bedroom on instagram lol.. Terrible. Finally after some chamomile tea I feel asleep around 3:30 am. Only to dream about my ex husband.. Who I never dream about.. Go figure.. But I think as we age we sleep less for what ever reason. I remember my mama barely sleeping as she got even older. Lovely square thanks for sharing. Glad I fou d your lovely blog with love Janice

  2. Thank you for your lovely words, Janice! I'm so glad I'm not the only one awake at such an ungodly hour! Lol! Sorry it took so long to reply, I had my comments thingy on the wrong setting. I hope you saw my Moonlight Owl Pattern under Crochet Adventures? There is another story there you may enjoy? Let me know! Love, Jen xox